Is This Heaven?
by HikariHeart
Summary: Is this Heaven? Or is this Hell? Or could it be something else all together? Someone who died contemplates where she is while walking.


Warning: Character Deaths. **_Speculation_** for the ending of the series. Implied F/F Slash.

Notes: Okay, this contains **_SPECULATION_** for the series ending, if it even that. None of it has any bases in any rumors, facts, and spoilers. How this says everything ends is from my imagination, well...kind of. I borrowed something from another show.

Disclaimer: I don't own any character mentioned, they are all owned by the God Joss Whedon. And those who are Sailor Moon fanatics, and are familiar with the final Sailor Moon season, Sailor Moon Stars, will probably know where I got the basic idea on how they managed to defeat the First in this story.

~*~

Is this Heaven?

It was lovely scenery, and gently rolling purple hills in the background. She could smell the flowers without even bending down or picking them, and even the dirt road seemed to blend end.

It reminded her of the Park that Xander, Jesse, and her often played in when they were younger...before all the Slayers, vampires, demons, deaths, and all around hell. Before Jesse was turned, before she was a witch, and before Xander was a demon magnet. Before High School. And before the Park was destroyed to make room for new housing. Before any of them knew the name Buffy.

And she continued walking. There was really nothing to do but walk and think. But that didn't brother her so much now.

Maybe this is Hell?

It could be. Some people say Hell is exactly like Heaven except longings are always there. And she had them. She longed for her friends, their forgiveness, they're understanding with what she and Dawn did in their last few moments of life and why they never told them the true plan. She longed to see the face of her soul mate, to talk to her, to love her...to be with her again. Forever this time.

But she had felt these longings when she was alive. She had felt these longings for two years surviving and waiting for The First Evil to fall short of energy. She just loved Physics.

Magic is Physics, just taken to a level beyond any modern scientist's imagination.

She longed to go back too. To apologize, to explain in person, and not by a simple letter written to Faith asking her to keep the gang busy while she and Dawn did what they did. And to see them smile, and be the Scoobie Gang again. To fix the rip that had slowly been tearing them apart the last four years.

Yeah maybe this is hell. This is her punishment for loosing control when Tara died, her punishment for letting the First take control of her, for letting in the darkness.

It wasn't too bad.

It wasn't as bad as some of the hell dimensions she had read and heard about. But it was bad enough to drive her insane after a while.

That is to say that she isn't insane. 

Maybe this is her own world?

The plan could have backed fired, and her mind couldn't take helping the First Evil to gain enough energy to last another few thousand years before loosing it again.

Or maybe because the First Evil was possessing her when Dawn locked it away, she had gone with it?

She could live with that. If 'living' is what she could be called. She could deal with this sacrifice. It meant that they had won. That it was finally over. That the First Evil was in the only place it could never get out of, the place where it belonged.  
  
In every living creature's heart.

She could 'live' with that.

Or maybe she was in Limbo?

She could be. "Here" could just be "somewhere" between Life and Death. Sanity and Insanity. Good and Evil. Somewhere and Nowhere. Forever and Never. Just "forever" in between all sides. Just waiting for whatever Powers That Be decide what to do with her.

Could this be the road to her new life?

And at the end of this road she'll be reborn again, to live a new life. To make new friends...to do everything different this time. Or to see them once more. To apologize...To explain. To repair the rip...To do everything that she desired to do.

But that would be Heaven to her.

Maybe this is what she made it to be?

It could be her Heaven, or her Hell. Her World or The First's Prison. Limbo or the Road to a New Life. Maybe it is what she makes it to be. This is her After-Life, and it is what she made of it.

And she continued walking. 


End file.
